Tornado in Time Square
It was a perfect day in the marvelous Time Square plaza in New York City. There are Tourists, Workers, and much more people crowding the streets. Out of nowhere the wind starts blowing. The wind is blowing so hard it feels like riding an 8 passenger Roller Coaster going down a 123 ft drop. One person walks out of a gift wearing a brand new hat that he just bought. He looks to the sky wondering why it is so windy. All of the sudden the hat pops off his head and flies away towards the high rise buildings.
About 12 minutes later a worker is on her break when she sees on the news a 12mph Tornado Wright outside of Times Square. There are warnings everywhere, almost on every T.V station. She starts to panic and warns all of her co-workers. She quickly grabs all of her stuff and runs to the elevator to get home before the tornado hits. As she is going down the see through elevator that looks out the building like a giant window. She sees all the poor people that do not know what is coming. She sees a family of four that is just walking around taking pictures. She is scared of what is going to happen not only to them but to everyone on the streets.
A waitress comes out of the restaurant that she is working in and takes a quick cigarette break. She sees a little cloud coming over the restraint. She doesn’t know that it is the tornado. All of the sudden the tornado hits the ground and starts ripping building up and throwing there debris all over. The waitress quickly screams and runs for her life. She’s running as fast as the wind is blowing. She sees out of the corner of her eye a young man, around 21 years old get completely crushed by a piece of concrete from one of the buildings that is getting ripped to shreds like a piece of paper going through a paper shredded by the tornado.
After the tornado has passed from Time Square a little girl comes out of a store that her parents pushed her into so she would be safe from the tornado. She’s walking around in circles looking all over the place, at buildings, in the sky, and into stores. All of New York City looks like World War 3 just happened. People are lying in the middle of the road dead; buildings roofs are torn off, pieces of other buildings are inside the building next to it. The little girl starts to cry because she can’t find her parents anywhere. She looks near the store her parents pushed her into. All of the sudden she sees her parents laying there in a puddle of blood. Her heart is pounding so hard it’s like a drum being pounded by a drum mallet. She’s running to go see her parents when out of nowhere a piece of debris comes flying out of the air and smashes the poor little girl’s bones.
Fire Rescuers and Ambulances come rushing to the scene to try to find any survivors. At the end of the end of the day the total amount of deaths is in the thousands. Fire Rescuers found a total of 35 survivors. The waitress and the worker both made it out to safety. They now can tell everyone there escape of Times Square Tornado. The guy with the hat was running and almost made it to a shelter. He was crossing the street when all of the sudden he gets lifted off his feet and gets slammed into one of Times Squares plasma T.V. This accident will be remembered for the rest of the waitress and workers lives.
BY: JJS
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4 comments:
I liked your story because it's original. I think you should put better words into it so it will make it a little bit better
I love the premise of this story, but as we discussed, making the tense consistent throughout will significantly improve the flow.
you need to put this story through a spell check, other than that it was pretty good.
Your story is really good. But you have to make a few changes.
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