Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Burning Building
The two young kids jumped out of their viper and raced toward the old building. They were brothers that came from a well educated family, but these two were hard-heads. Both brothers thought it would be fun to go to an old community and break into an old building that people say is cursed. When they got to the top level of the building they looked out the window
and checked on their new car. Each brother was silent, but then they could hear a growling sound coming from behind them. As they turned around a wolf came flying at them and hit one of the brothers. He pushed the dog off him and took off running towards the exit. By the time they got to the stairs they saw a ghost coming out of the wall coming at them. It was black and dark green and it looked like it had dead bodies attached to it. It came flying at them but stopped when they got to the door. One brother started to laugh and the other followed but a force pulled the laughing brother into the building. The second brother could hear his brother screaming and his bones crushing. He got ready to run but the force grabbed him to. He tried to get away but the ghostly force was too strong. As he was being sucked in, the wall was breaking from him grabbing at it trying to break lose but he couldn’t
Eddie got out of the van with Andrew and Ray. Eddie had bought the building and wanted to make it into a night club. Andrew would be the DJ and Ray would make sure the business was running good. Eddie was very happy with the building since he got it for a great deal, but the others were not so happy since it needed so much work. Everybody started to search the building while Eddie was trying to find the generator to turn the electricity on. When Eddie was down stairs trying to turn on the electricity. He could hear a door shacking and growing louder and louder then just stop. Everybody felt a little weird in the building so Eddie thought it would be better to stay over for a couple of days to get used to the place. After arguing about it they all decided to stay over. Andrew was in his room that he found in the old building, relaxing on his bed listening to some beats he had made with his eyes closed. He kept getting a feeling that somebody was watching him. As he was closing his eyes again the ghost came inching out of the wall very slowly. Andrew opened his eyes again and saw it right above is upper body, Andrew shot up and ran to the door yelling. As he opened the door panicking the ghost slid back into the wall like it was part of the building. When Andrew got to the door Andrew ran into Eddie who was standing outside of his bedroom. Eddie asked what happened but Andrew didn’t know if what he saw was real or just in his head so he just said ‘nothin,’ but Eddie could tell something was wrong from Andrews heavy breathing. He did see something, the ghost was playing with all of their heads.
The next day was dark and stormy in that little neighborhood in New York.. They were still trying to clean the building so it could look more presentable to be used as a club. Ray didn’t really say much since they got there and has been acting very wield. Ray stopped from cleaning, got up, and walked towards the old elevator shaft. He kept on thinking that he saw something moving down there. Andrew noticed how Ray has been acting and couldn’t think of what could be wrong with him and way he was acting that way. Eddie got up and told them to start working again but inside they could all feel something was wrong with this old building. There was a loud flash and then all of the power went out. Eddie got up and gave everybody a flash light and went downstairs to check the fuse box. Andrew got up and looked down the elevator shaft. Ray was sweating heavily and was starting to act crazy. Then, he grabbed Andrew and gave him a shove with all of his might, and Andrew went falling into the bottom of the shaft. Ray flashed his light down the shaft and could see Andrew dead and other dead bodies down there being eaten by rats. When Eddie got downstairs he could see a green fog coming from under the door. The door blew open with great force and started to pull Eddie, in but since he was near a wall he ducked behind it. He ran up to the lobby and saw Ray with a gun in his hands. Ray started to shoot and Eddie took off running and drove out the front door. For no reason the building busted into flames. Eddie could see Ray on fire, but he was just standing there and put the gun to his head. Ray laughed and pulled the trigger, then he just disappeared.

C.J.S

3 comments:

AJP said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
J.R.S said...

i like how you described the gost. you used alot of detail.

Twilighter01 said...

I think that it is very well written. You used alot of detail and did well in describing things. I would use more literary terms though. Just throw in some similies or alliteration here and there.